a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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