that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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