Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
