Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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