I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
