Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
