They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
