I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
