Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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