My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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