How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
