You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
do nipples grow back?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
