I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
