just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
