good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You've changed since you got that strap on
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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