it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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