I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
