her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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