alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
the raccoons are back...
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