He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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