Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize