just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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