3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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