If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize