apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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