My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
