biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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