Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
