and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
