The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
