There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
