and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
