if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
