I'm lost and stupid without you.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
