We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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