hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
