I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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