I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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