We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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