I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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