is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
