idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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