What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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