Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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