ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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