Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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