it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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