I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
