so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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