I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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