but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
