and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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