Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
this is an emotional support booty call
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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