Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize