Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
