It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
