i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
