My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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