Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
