Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
