Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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