i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
