it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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