you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
