The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
